I’m sure I’m no different than anyone else when I say that all of my thoughts, dreams, conversations, and blog posts tend to revolve around being pregnant. I can’t help it. I’m pregnant and it’s all I can think about. I had a few rough weeks with this pregnancy. I think my trimesters got switched up and crazy, because weeks 15-18 have left me feeling completely exhausted, sick, and just gross. I could blame it on several things, but I think I know what went wrong. My first trimester I was exercising every day, drinking my juice religiously, and was still off of refined sugar and most processed foods. Enter: cravings. They destroyed me. Ever since I started giving in to the cravings I’ve been having, my pregnancy has done a 180 on me. I have eaten way too many chips, skittles, and black licorice. I feel sick most days off and on. This entire experience of starting this blog has been a huge learning curve for me. I’m no longer just sitting in my house closet-eating after my girls are in bed. I feel a responsibility to be honest about how hard it has been for me to stick to my guns. I’m not going to use pregnancy as an excuse, because there is ALWAYS an excuse.

I have only worked out a couple of times/week for the past several weeks. Today I did Jillian’s Ripped in 30 and realized that I’m losing some of the strength I worked so hard to build. It’s kind of tough emotionally to adjust to the difference in strength and endurance I’ve been experiencing. Because I was never in great shape before my other pregnancies and only did a little prenatal yoga during them, I didn’t struggle with this at all. I realize I can’t do everything, but I WANT to. I want to just go out and run 4 miles without it hurting everywhere or being so short of breath. I want to do ab workouts and see the muscles I worked so hard for. Alas, they are making room for a baby, which is perfectly wonderful too. What I’m trying to say is that there have been some struggles for me the last few weeks. I am so blessed and happy/thrilled/excited to be welcoming another baby into our family. I wouldn’t change that for anything. But it’s been a different experience for me. With my previous two babies I was sick for basically nine months then had a baby. This time I was really active and eating exceptionally well when I found out I was pregnant. It gave me motivation to keep it up, especially when I saw how great I felt, but then I started to slip a little because things got harder as my belly has started to grow.

After a slight breakdown to my husband last night over something completely unrelated (did I mention I’m pregnant?), I realized that I need to change a few things. I need to get more juice in my body. It helps SO much, I can’t even describe. But it’s really hard for me to get down right now because of how sensitive I am to smells. I also need to work out. I have to modify some things, but there is still a lot I can do. I need to focus on what I’m able to do with this changing body, and keep going. I am a happier, better mom when I’m eating well, drinking my juice, and exercising daily. That in itself is reason enough for me to try and change. Now I’m accountable. Wish me luck.

And that, my friends, is my pregnancy rant/confession for the week. I’m sure it won’t be the last. I am now 19 weeks and we will find out NEXT Tuesday (which also happens to be my birthday) what gender this baby is. I’m anxious and excited to finally know so we can start talking names!